Over the week-end a family of four (mother, father and the two small children) died in a house fire. What was initially thought to have been a terrible accident seems to have turned into a murder and suicide case where the father killed his family and then set the house on fire.
It’s a tragic story and my heart goes out to the families involved.
What suggested the title is the fact that the “authorities” have dispatched psychologists to the school the children were attending to offer them counselling. Oh for goodness’ sake, what is it with people these days that for anything that happens in their lives they need counselling?
When I was at school one of my best buddies dropped dead while out playing one Sunday afternoon. He was 13 years old. We all went to his funeral and some of us (me included) had a hearty cry at the loss of our pal. But life carried on and so did we. I’ve never forgotten the guy and probably never will but it hasn’t stopped me from living a full life.
Not quite two years ago, my wife and I, lost our first born child. We didn’t get counselling even though it would have been normal procedure to offer it. Mind you I’m not sure I would have accepted counselling anyway. We will never forget our little Pierre, and sometimes I still have a cry as I do miss the little mite. I wonder what he’d be like now, how he would deal with having a little brother… It is rather difficult for us when we meet my wife’s cousin and they have their little boy who was born three weeks after our chap. But life goes on, you get through these things. It’s always easy, many a night have we cried ourselves to sleep after loosing Pierre, but you can’t change the facts. So you move on. You look at what you have today and take comfort in that.
Do we really need to offer counselling for every that happens in life? I really don’t think so.
Now I know I’ll probably come across as a callous old git but those who know me well, know that I’m far from insensitive.
I’d love to know what others think about this subject, so feel free to leave your comments.
28 April 2008 at 23:17
I well understand the need for counselling. For many it’s a sounding board, to help people make sense of their lives when things are not going well. People can feel absolutely dreadful without fully understanding why this is the case. I’ve seen many people who have gone through their lives without seeking any help for problems that they have (or seeking the wrong type of help), and it’s lead to much unhappiness in their lives over the course of decades. That’s not what life should be about. I’m not saying that this is the right thing for everyone or that we should run to a counsellor at every opportunity, but for many it’s a life-sustaining service.
I think that the need for counselling has always been there. In past years it was the priests or elder family members who provided this assistance. Nowadays things are much more fragmented. There are fewer community supports. Professional psychologists and psychiatrists fill this gap for many, and I think they probably do a good job. It takes time though. There are no instant answers.